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The Night Elves must be stopped! - Quark - 06-08-2006

http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/thread.a...p=1#post8336062

In case of deletion:
Quote: Anyone ever notice how the Night Elves, when faced with important, world-changing decisions, INEVITABLY make the wrong ones? If it weren't for Night Elves and their screwups, I'd be inclined to think Azeroth in general would be a much nicer place.

Mistake 1: Destroying the Scepter of the Shifting Sands

Bronze Dragonflight: "Now that we've finally sealed away the nemesis of all Azeroth, here's a scepter should you need to break the seal and fight them again."
Fandral: "WAAAHH!"
*breaks scepter*
Bronze Dragonflight: "You dumb f*cker."

Mistake 2: Destroying the Well of Eternity

Queen Azshara: "Blahaharrrgh, I'm addicted to magic!"
Night Elves: "Well I guess that's cool."
Queen Azshara: "Blahahaharrrgh, I'm summoning demons!"
Night Elves: "Ok, that's not so cool."
*Bigass War!*
Malfurion: "I've got an idea! Let's blow up the world!"
Tyrande: "Come on, that's your solution to everything."
Malfurion: "No it's not! By the way, hold this."
Tyrande: "Hey, this looks like a-"
KABLOOIE
Tyrande: "...dammit, Malfurion."

Mistake 3: Recreating the Well of Eternity, Then Leaving It There and Falling Asleep

Illidan: "Hey guys, now that we just got done blowing THAT up, I just made a new one!"
Night Elves: "You stupid f*cker."
Malfurion: "Illidan, you're under arrest for playing the devil rock music."
Illidan: "How wude!"
*SLAMMER'D!*
Malfurion: "Anyway, let's just plant a tree over top of this sucker and call it a day."
Tyrande: "Uh, what do you want us women to do, Mal honey?"
Malfurion: "You all stay awake and keep the stove warm in case we're hungry when we wake up. Oh, and don't go running off having fun with your friends or anything, I want you in the kitchen where you belong."
Tyrande: "But-"
Malfurion: "zzzzzzzzzzzz"
Tyrande: "Dammit."

Mistake 4: Staying Asleep

Orcs: "FOR THE HORDE! And also the Burning Legion!"
Night Elves: "zzzzzzzzz"
Undead: "For the lich king! Also, again, the Burning Legion!"
Night Elves: "zzzzzzSNRKzzzzz"

Mistake 5: Picking a Fight with the Orcs

Night Elves: "WTF?! Orcs cutting down our trees? Gettem!"
Cenarius: "I'LL take the case!"
*PWNT*
Night Elves: "WTF!!"
Grom Hellscream: [Orcish] kek

Mistake 6: Releasing Illidan

Tyrande: "We need help, gotta wake the druids up. Oh hey, Illidan! I'm sure 10,000 years of confinement has only rehabilitated him."
Illidan: "GROWLowlorarrrr"
Tyrande: "...although I could be wrong."
Illidan: "OOGHRARGHghhh!" *runs off*

Mistake 7: Blowing up the World, AGAIN

Medivh: "Quit fighting you nubs! Archimonde is coming!"
Night Elves: "Oh crap you're right. Too late now!"
Archimonde: "Bwahahahaha!"
Malfurion: "Hey, I've got an idea!"
Everyone: *groans*
KABLOOIE

Mistake 8: Stopping Illidan from killing the Lich King

Malfurion: "OMG! Illidan's doing something crazy to Northrend! Gotta stop him!"
Maiev: "I'm kookoo for catching Illidan!" *trips Tyrande*
Tyrande: "Aiiee!" *falls into river*
Malfurion and Illidan: "I'LL take the case!"
*rescue*
Illidan: "So you see, I was trying to DESTROY THE MOST POWERFUL EVIL BEING IN AZEROTH."
Malfurion: "Oh, uh..... my bad."

Mistake 9: Building a new World Tree

Fandral: "Man, I miss immortality. Let's make a new world tree!"
Malfurion: "I don't think that's a good-"
Fandral: "STFU nub."
*WORLD TREE'D!*
Fandral: "See? This place is great."
Malfurion: "I dunno, it smells kinda bad... and I think I just stepped in some ooze."
Fandral: "Yeah? Well if you don't like it, why don't you go get lost in the Emerald Dream for a few years?!"
Malfurion: "You know what?! I think I will!" *gets lost in the Emerald Dream*
Night Elves: *facepalm*
Rest of Alliance: "Remind me why we put up with these guys?"
Bronze Dragonflight: "Because you're all a bunch of dumb f*ckers."



The Night Elves must be stopped! - Treesh - 06-08-2006

lol Nice find Quark.:)


The Night Elves must be stopped! - Zarathustra - 06-08-2006

Yep. Anyone who actually got into the storyline and lore behind the Night Elves and enjoys the race inevitably comes to despise Fandral Staghelm. Were there an Alliance equivalent of the Mark of Shame, he'd be killed DAILY by his own pupils.


The Night Elves must be stopped! - Lissa - 06-08-2006

Yeah, but who's the dumbest? After all, the Bronze Dragonflight can change the time stream...:P


The Night Elves must be stopped! - MongoJerry - 06-08-2006

Quote:Yeah, but who's the dumbest? After all, the Bronze Dragonflight can change the time stream...:P

No, no. They protect the timestream, although maybe they shouldn't protect some parts of it...


The Night Elves must be stopped! - oldmandennis - 06-08-2006

Quote:Rest of alliance: Remind me why we put up with these guys?
Ginourmous mass of teenage boys: Because they have Boobs! Dance nekkid for me!

Fixed


The Night Elves must be stopped! - Lissa - 06-08-2006

Quote:No, no. They protect the timestream, although maybe they shouldn't protect some parts of it...

If you look at what is said by Chromie, they can also affect it (she is, afterall, trying to fix Andorhal).


The Night Elves must be stopped! - Threnody - 06-08-2006

Quote:If you look at what is said by Chromie, they can also affect it (she is, afterall, trying to fix Andorhal).

Right, but the implication is that they are fixing changes the Scourge made. They don't alter events for the sake of improving the present, they just try to prevent outside forces from altering the status quo.

As far as stopping night elves go, I have to agree. Their continuous attempts to prevent me from stealing their flag must be put to a stop! How else is my shaman supposed to hit blood guard?;)



The Night Elves must be stopped! - TFLlama - 06-10-2006

Grom Hellscream: [Orcish] kek

XD


The Night Elves must be stopped! - Invisible Queen - 06-11-2006

Funny and true. I was just replaying War3 and noticing how many wars that start because people (mainly night elves) don't try to talk about things before they throw down the glaives.

Or because the humans put the stupidest jerks possible in charge. Nobody listen to the magic crow druit prophet guy, he only sounds like he knows what he's talking about. And hey, let's hate all the orcs for ever and ever because some of them did some stuff when they were possessed by demons. And let's put the most elf hating racist ever in charge of the blood elfs who came to help us! Yeah.