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+--- Thread: Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? (/thread-5186.html)
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Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - DeeBye - 12-11-2005
Where I work, we draw names for a Secret Santa gift exchange. The limit is $10. Last year I drew the name of a guy that is heavily into electronic gizmos, so I bought him a tiny remote controlled car. It went over very well. He loved it.
This year I unluckily drew the name of someone I don't usually interact with at work, so now I'm stumped for a cool gift. All that I know about her is that she is female, wears too much eye makeup, and is in college.
I'm thinking about going to Costco and buying the biggest batch of toilet paper I can get for $10. I figure that everyone needs toilet paper, especially college-aged people. When I went to college, I never had enough toilet paper. Plus, a giant 50-pack of toilet paper wrapped in Christmas cheer will look awesome under the company Christmas tree. It will dwarf all of the other presents by a long shot.
I'm a bit worried that she might take this the wrong way, like I might be suggesting that she doesn't wipe enough and eternally smells like poopie (as far as I know she doesn't). Should I abandon the toilet paper idea? If so, you must suggest an alternate gift.
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - ShadowHM - 12-11-2005
Go to Lee Valley Tools and choose something from this list.. Perhaps something like the Flashing Safety Lamp would work. I would rather have the the Tarp Clips, myself, but I am not in college anymore. ;)
Toilet paper is not going to work as a Secret Santa gift. :)
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Guest - 12-11-2005
Bad idea.
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Doc - 12-11-2005
Include a note saying:
"To help you deal with all the bull#$%& your professors are giving you."
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Doc - 12-11-2005
ShadowHM,Dec 11 2005, 06:02 AM Wrote:Go to Lee Valley Tools and choose something from this list.. Perhaps something like the Flashing Safety Lamp would work. I would rather have the the Tarp Clips, myself, but I am not in college anymore. ;)
Toilet paper is not going to work as a Secret Santa gift. :)
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Out of all those gifts, the one I would love most is Bag Balm.
The goats you see... They don't like chapped udders, and they damn sure don't like rough scaley sandpapery hands fondling their teats.
I doubt anybody would.
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - ShadowHM - 12-11-2005
Doc,Dec 11 2005, 09:13 AM Wrote:Out of all those gifts, the one I would love most is Bag Balm.
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I use Bag Balm on my hands after gardening. :) I know I am supposed to wear gloves, but I seldom do (unless I am clearing out bramble). Bag Balm soothes all those micro-cuts and scratches and makes my hands all lady-like again. :rolleyes:
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Doc - 12-11-2005
ShadowHM,Dec 11 2005, 09:17 AM Wrote:I use Bag Balm on my hands after gardening. :) I know I am supposed to wear gloves, but I seldom do (unless I am clearing out bramble). Bag Balm soothes all those micro-cuts and scratches and makes my hands all lady-like again. :rolleyes:
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Yes, doesn't that just feel soothing?
Some times, my hands get so chapped and cracked that the skin actually snags the wool fibres on my kilts.
Been trying to cure them with neem oil and some aloe.
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Guest - 12-11-2005
Petroleum jelly, Glycol and Water. Mix to suit yourself.
If you get these 3 products you can mimic pretty much any skin protectant/softener product in effect.
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Doc - 12-11-2005
Ghostiger,Dec 11 2005, 10:18 AM Wrote:Petroleum jelly, Glycol and Water. Mix to suit yourself.
If you get these 3 products you can mimic pretty much any skin protectant/softener product in effect.
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You forgot saponified vegetable glycerines.
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Guest - 12-11-2005
Are you kidding or serious?
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Doc - 12-11-2005
Ghostiger,Dec 11 2005, 10:35 AM Wrote:Are you kidding or serious?
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I am serious.
Why?
I have yet to see a better moisturiser.
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Guest - 12-11-2005
Glycol is glycerine.
Beyond that it really doesnt matter.
Protectant/moisterizer only does 2 things and they are related. It softens/moisturizes dead skin(all surface skin is dead by design), and it keeps water in.
The dead skin gets water from your body but in the winter especially it loses it faster than it can absorb it. Oils form a suraface layer that stops this. Your body actually secretes oils but they wash off.
Glycerine helps the oil to pentrate and helps it mix with water as well as adding some protection itself.
You can use a thinner oil than petrolium jelly and it will pentrate slightly better but it will be less of a barrier. Mixing the petrolium jelly with glycol gives similar results.
As long as the what you apply isnt toxic any oil glyclo solution works. Youre just trying to make dead skin supple - you are not nurishing your body. Very little is absorbed into your living tissue from the surface skin.
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Doc - 12-11-2005
Ghost, I didn't expect you to know what saponified vegetable glycerines were. You are probably to "civilised" to do something as silly as make your own soap.
Certain types of vegetable based glycerines mimic human collagen compounds and are capable of being absorbed readily by the skin to be used to rebuild and repair. Aloe, in particular, does a marvelous job of mimicing human tissue. You can read about it here. Just read the whole page. You might learn something.
They are most certainly not toxic or harmful.
For something toxic and harmful, one only need to look at just about every soap, lotion, or shampoo out there with sodium lauryl sulfate, which is reprocessed, recycled, repackaged industrial toxic waste. Sulfuric acid mixed with carbolic salt, which is used to make your wonderful shapoos and soaps lather well. It's even in Johnson and Johnson's Baby Shampoo. The government will not stop the use of this product inspite of the health risks simply because they get to much hush money from the big chemical companies... And instead of having to deal with large quantities of highly toxic sludge, it's easier to process them down to a form they claim is safe, make money off of them, and then dispose of billions of gallons of toxic waste down every single drain in the civilised world negating themselves of any and all personal responsability.
Not all glycerines and glycol compounds are created equal.
And it is not normal to go around with to many layers of dead skin. Skin should be shed. Removed. There are compounds to do this. And outer layers of skin MUST be nourished. Having tons of dead skin creates areas where bacteria build up and cause all kinds of problems, including body odour. Blood vessels don't aways get what the skin needs to the outer layers, and the only way for the skin to remain healthy, supple, and well kept is for it to be nourished. And this is really easy to do. Stop rubbing poisons in to it for one thing, and then find things that the skin can absorb to keep it healthy. Like... Saponified coconut oils. Neem. Shae butter. Aloe. Cocoa butter. Tea Tree. Saponified avocado oil. And as foul smelling as it is, saponified garlic oil does wonders for people with eczema or people with severely dried or otherwise damaged skin. But good Lord, what a stench. Also good for ear aches, just a drop in the ear and the pain should go down, but it should be noted that for about the next month, every time you cry, your tears with reek of garlic.
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Occhidiangela - 12-11-2005
Doc,Dec 11 2005, 11:17 AM Wrote:Ghost, I didn't expect you to know what saponified vegetable glycerines were. You are probably to "civilised" to do something as silly as make your own soap.
Snip the rest
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Ghostiger.
Doc.
Are you two sure you aren't married? :P
Occhi
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Doc - 12-11-2005
Occhidiangela,Dec 11 2005, 12:42 PM Wrote:Ghostiger.
Doc.
Are you two sure you aren't married? :P
Occhi
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:o
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Roland - 12-11-2005
My gut? A very bad idea.
Better idea? $10 gift card to Sephora. It ain't much, but it's something she's guaranteed to use, AND won't offend her.
I'm sure I could think of something else, given enough time, but right off the bat I can tell that she, being a woman (no sexist offense meant; just that men usually "get" toilet humor {no pun intended ;)} more easily than women, AND don't find it nearly as offensive), will probably get offended. I know plenty of women who'd find it hilarious, but I KNOW them. For someone I didn't know? I wouldn't touch that idea unless I was feeling mean-spirited. It's just too risky, and too much of a "guy" thing to do.
Now, were this some random guy you didn't know too well, I'd say go for it. The worst that happens is it chaps his rear. ;) (Ok, THAT pun was intended. :P)
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Guest - 12-11-2005
You have been sold a load of hooey. Please dont bother giving me a bunch of links unless they are by real doctors.
1 Layers of dead skin are natural.
2 No signifigant amount of nutrients make it to living tissue through the skin.
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Occhidiangela - 12-11-2005
Ghostiger,Dec 11 2005, 12:50 PM Wrote:You have been sold a load of hooey. Please dont bother giving me a bunch of links unless they are by real doctors.
1 Layers of dead skin are natural.
2 No signifigant amount of nutrients make it to living tissue through the skin.
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Have you earned your pink Cadillac as a Mary Kay saleman yet?
Occhi
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Guest - 12-11-2005
If I was selling something would I have suggested 3 cheap products with no name brands?
Would this be an offensive Secret Santa gift? - Occhidiangela - 12-12-2005
Ghostiger,Dec 11 2005, 05:54 PM Wrote:If I was selling something would I have suggested 3 cheap products with no name brands?
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The joke is constructed thuswise: that you gained your indepth knowledge of skincare products as a Mary Kay salesman (who get rewarded with pink cars if they are very good at salesmanship) and the not so sly jab related to most Mary Kay sales persons being women.
Jokes lose their punch when they have to be explained, so I obviously need to work harder on crafting my offerings here.
*Hey, get that hook off of me, I'm supposed to be performing here until Thursday!*
Occhi