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+--- Thread: The Corrupted Wish Game (/thread-6501.html)
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 09-18-2005
Granted. You are now flexible enough to sit on your own head - an exceptionally rare talent, and one that will gain you a job as an acrobat in just about any circus or amusement park in the world. Unfortunately, there's more to acrobatics than just astonishing flexibility. You are now obligated to dedicate your life to training for more cool tricks in order to keep drawing crowds and thus keep your job. Eventually you are thrown out on your ear the instant age, injury, and/or RSS stiffen your joints a little. You end up performing your tricks in drag for money and booze at a gay bar, but lose that job as soon as you start looking too old. Eventually you wind up on the street, doing tricks for passerby in the hopes that they'll drop coins into your hat. A documentary maker sees you and remembers you from a circus performance he saw as a little boy, and decides to do a film about your sad, sad life story. You earn enough to leave you set for life from the film rights, but you die tragically from the effects of alcoholism the night before the premiere. A memorial scholarship fund is set up for circus performers who are too old to keep performing, and thereby your name lives on forever. But it ain't doing you any good.
I wish I had some duct tape.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 09-18-2005
Lady Vashj,Sep 18 2005, 07:49 AM Wrote:Granted. You are now flexible enough to sit on your own head - an exceptionally rare talent, and one that will gain you a job as an acrobat in just about any circus or amusement park in the world. Unfortunately, there's more to acrobatics than just astonishing flexibility. You are now obligated to dedicate your life to training for more cool tricks in order to keep drawing crowds and thus keep your job. Eventually you are thrown out on your ear the instant age, injury, and/or RSS stiffen your joints a little. You end up performing your tricks in drag for money and booze at a gay bar, but lose that job as soon as you start looking too old. Eventually you wind up on the street, doing tricks for passerby in the hopes that they'll drop coins into your hat. A documentary maker sees you and remembers you from a circus performance he saw as a little boy, and decides to do a film about your sad, sad life story. You earn enough to leave you set for life from the film rights, but you die tragically from the effects of alcoholism the night before the premiere. A memorial scholarship fund is set up for circus performers who are too old to keep performing, and thereby your name lives on forever. But it ain't doing you any good.
I wish I had some duct tape.
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Sure. You are kdinapped and held hostage, and now have a supply of duct tape conveniently located at your ankles, wrists, and mouth. Unfortunately, it's used duct tape, but is better than nothing.
I wish action movies didn't always have to have some "love interest" in them.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 09-20-2005
Granted. I give you the "Pokemon" series of movies. I believe they technically fall into the "Action" category.
The reason that Hollywood always has love interest in action movies is because if action movies had no romance, the audience would consist of eight hundred men and one girl who was coerced into going by her brother. Now that romance is not allowed in action movies, not only are no women going to see them, but fewer men are as well, because it's mostly the girl in a relationship that picks the movie, and single guys that want to see hot chicks in spandex on their screens are renting old movies instead of going to the new ones. Action movies just don't make money any more, and eventually the genre is abandoned entirely.
I wish Cisco Clean Access Agent didn't bork everything it came into contact with.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 09-20-2005
Lady Vashj,Sep 19 2005, 07:21 PM Wrote:Granted. I give you the "Pokemon" series of movies. I believe they technically fall into the "Action" category.
The reason that Hollywood always has love interest in action movies is because if action movies had no romance, the audience would consist of eight hundred men and one girl who was coerced into going by her brother. Now that romance is not allowed in action movies, not only are no women going to see them, but fewer men are as well, because it's mostly the girl in a relationship that picks the movie, and single guys that want to see hot chicks in spandex on their screens are renting old movies instead of going to the new ones. Action movies just don't make money any more, and eventually the genre is abandoned entirely.
I wish Cisco Clean Access Agent didn't bork everything it came into contact with.
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Because I didn't bother to look whatever Cisco clean Access agent is, Your roomis now filled with a ton of bats.
I wish I had found the bank one I was looking for earlier today.
The Corrupted Wish Game - AtomicKitKat - 09-20-2005
Minionman,Sep 21 2005, 05:37 AM Wrote:Because I didn't bother to look whatever Cisco clean Access agent is, Your roomis now filled with a ton of bats.
I wish I had found the bank one I was looking for earlier today.
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Granted. You now find a bank that only deals in $1 bills, and must wait for several hours each payday, as the clerk counts out the bills in your paycheck.
I wish I was fraternal twins, one of each gender, so that I can understand life from all angles(I already do, more or less, but this makes it more fun)
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 09-21-2005
AtomicKitKat,Sep 20 2005, 04:31 PM Wrote:Granted. You now find a bank that only deals in $1 bills, and must wait for several hours each payday, as the clerk counts out the bills in your paycheck.
I wish I was fraternal twins, one of each gender, so that I can understand life from all angles(I already do, more or less, but this makes it more fun)
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granted. To understand life, both minds of the fraternal twins need to form a mind bond, causing condfusion over which mind controls which body, and neither of you can walk without going herky jerky. Plus, if you've seen Psycho, something similar happens.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 09-21-2005
Minionman forgot his wish. He can now clean the bats out of my room. They're baseball bats, so won't scratch you or crap on you, but they're much heavier than the furry flying kind.
CCAA controls access to the college network. Every so often, generally at the worst possible time, it will spontaneously log you out and force you to drop what your doing and log in again. When you try to get back to whatever you were doing, you find it's been thoroughly borked - games run so slow as to be unplayable, Word documents are written in Useless Character or Box, images are in weird colors, occasionally the computer reboots itself. On the plus side, it teaches the importance of saving often.
I wish Capital One would abandon the call-center commercials and go back to the pillager commercials. The pillagers were cool.
The Corrupted Wish Game - NiteFox - 09-21-2005
Lady Vashj,Sep 21 2005, 01:30 PM Wrote:I wish Capital One would abandon the call-center commercials and go back to the pillager commercials. The pillagers were cool.Granted. They return to their old advertising scheme, but only show the commercial once every six months. At the least convenient time for you.
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I wish first gear was easier to find on my craptacular gearbox. One day I'm gonna get rearended if I can't pull away from a traffic light fast enough.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 09-21-2005
Granted. But it's the only gear you can find. You can't park, back up, or do any number of other useful things. You end up cursing everyone connected to the manufacture and sale of the car back to the fifth generation, and sell the car for parts. Unfortunately, the next used car you buy contains the recycled gearbox.
I wish SATS (Student and Administrative Technology Services) would be held accountable for the fact that our network is crap, our campus e-mail works 5 hours a semester (spread out into fifteen-second chunks), and our Internet access sucks bit, and forced to fix them all to my exacting standards.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 09-21-2005
Lady Vashj,Sep 21 2005, 03:48 PM Wrote:Granted. But it's the only gear you can find. You can't park, back up, or do any number of other useful things. You end up cursing everyone connected to the manufacture and sale of the car back to the fifth generation, and sell the car for parts. Unfortunately, the next used car you buy contains the recycled gearbox.
I wish SATS (Student and Administrative Technology Services) would be held accountable for the fact that our network is crap, our campus e-mail works 5 hours a semester (spread out into fifteen-second chunks), and our Internet access sucks bit, and forced to fix them all to my exacting standards.
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Granted. Because they are your standards, you now foot the bill. And they aren't doing it for free.
I wish I could find a bank one that takes deposits. I've looked on the internet, but the locations they give haven't had anything.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 09-23-2005
Granted. They take deposits. But they don't do loans or withdrawals.
I wish the network actually functioned 24/7.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Jeunemaitre - 09-23-2005
Lady Vashj,Sep 23 2005, 08:17 AM Wrote:I wish the network actually functioned 24/7.
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To tell you the truth, granting this one isn't so hard. The network does actually function 24/7: That's the problem. I know that the standard is 100 base T [or something: don't nit the corrupted wish game], but your network folks have designed and implemented a 24/7 system that may revolutionize the networking industry. The problem is that this structure doesn't support remote user interaction with connected resources yet, and unless the developers can get some buy in from new sponsors, it never will. This fantastic new 24/7 system may go the way of OS/2: prevented from gaining wide-spread use by the "standard of practice" that's already in place. If you get behind this 24/7 thing now, you may end up like Bill Gates some day. I'm telling you, seriously think about dropping-out and getting behind this system.
I wish I wasn't so far behind in my work.
The Corrupted Wish Game - AtomicKitKat - 09-23-2005
Jeunemaitre,Sep 23 2005, 08:40 PM Wrote:I wish I wasn't so far behind in my work.
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Granted. Since you finished your last set so quickly, you are now given more responsibility and a new, bigger workload. In Swahili. With no pay increase.
I wish I had some idea as to what I want to do with the rest of my life and the backbone to follow through with it.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 09-23-2005
AtomicKitKat,Sep 23 2005, 08:25 AM Wrote:Granted. Since you finished your last set so quickly, you are now given more responsibility and a new, bigger workload. In Swahili. With no pay increase.
I wish I had some idea as to what I want to do with the rest of my life and the backbone to follow through with it.
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Granted. In truth, you already have been granted this wish. You have a backbone that will support the weight of your head, ribs, chest organs, etc, which is all you need to follow through on your goals. you also have an idea of what to do with your life. You should do something you like.
I wish time didn't seem to go by so fast.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Lady Vashj - 09-23-2005
Granted. Now life seems incredibly slow, and you spend almost all your time bored witless.
I wish I could find, download, play, and enjoy more and better custom Warcraft III campaigns.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 09-24-2005
Lady Vashj,Sep 23 2005, 04:09 PM Wrote:Granted. Now life seems incredibly slow, and you spend almost all your time bored witless.
I wish I could find, download, play, and enjoy more and better custom Warcraft III campaigns.
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Granted. You get these skills only to find that you are bored with warcraft 3 as a whole, and now have to learn them all over again for whichever next computer game you get.
I wish I wasn't feeling sick right now.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Occhidiangela - 09-24-2005
Minionman,Sep 23 2005, 07:38 PM Wrote:I wish I wasn't feeling sick right now.
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Granted. Now, you are sick, but feel peachy. Too bad about the projectile vomiting your feelings don't warn you about . . .
I wish my neighbor's cat would wander away and never come back.
Occhi
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 09-24-2005
Occhidiangela,Sep 23 2005, 08:14 PM Wrote:Granted. Now, you are sick, but feel peachy. Too bad about the projectile vomiting your feelings don't warn you about . . .
I wish my neighbor's cat would wander away and never come back.
Occhi
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Granted. It wanders out of the city, and over time turns into a huge, 7 foot long vampire cat. One day while you are driving somewhere, this creatures attacks your car, kills you in the goriest way possihble, and leaves the fragments of your bones to the worms.
I wish when I was slightly sick, I would have something less annoying than drymouth/sore throat. Most other things I handle fine, but sore throat/dry mouth are annoying all the time.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Jeunemaitre - 09-26-2005
Minionman,Sep 24 2005, 12:16 AM Wrote:I wish when I was slightly sick, I would have something less annoying than drymouth/sore throat. Most other things I handle fine, but sore throat/dry mouth are annoying all the time.
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You can handle other things fine huh? How about this...
When you are slightly sick, rather than sore throat/dry mouth, your most apparent symptom is cicatricial alopecia. Just keep in mind that while aggressive treatment for this/these form(s) of alopecia is recommended, you should also remember to treat the underlying condition. I'd usually try to do a more involved explanation, but this defies introduction. I hope things go well for you...
I wish that my office wasn't as cold as a meat locker.
The Corrupted Wish Game - Minionman - 09-26-2005
Jeunemaitre,Sep 26 2005, 11:13 AM Wrote:You can handle other things fine huh? How about this...
When you are slightly sick, rather than sore throat/dry mouth, your most apparent symptom is cicatricial alopecia. Just keep in mind that while aggressive treatment for this/these form(s) of alopecia is recommended, you should also remember to treat the underlying condition. I'd usually try to do a more involved explanation, but this defies introduction. I hope things go well for you...
I wish that my office wasn't as cold as a meat locker.
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Granted. After putting a garbage incenerator right next to it, your office is much warmer. Sometimes smoke gets into the old air conditioning system, so be careful.
I wish I could try out all those notebooks of computer game numbers I've been writing. (Yes, by sticking them on a computer abd playing with them.)