Department of Agriculture

[LochnarITB]

Whenever I hear of water shortages in the US I get really paranoid about the fact that Canada has a huge amount of fresh water. We'd gladly let you have (or buy) any excess and renewable fresh water that would otherwise drain into the ocean. I just worry that an evil person in the US would have the idea of tapping into the US side of the Great Lakes and drain everything dry.

There is no way that the US would ever just TAKE resources from another country - right?

It's supposed to be a secret, but I know you're a good guy and would never tell on us so I'm OK with letting you in on our secret. The farmers here in Minnesota have taken some of their equipment that would be useless on the dried up farms and they used some good old farmer engineering to turn them into tunnelers. They're just gonna make small holes in the bottom of a bunch of the Canadian lakes north of us and then they're going to run them into bigger tunnels down to all their dried up crops. You've got so much water with all that snow melting into the lakes all year, you'll never notice unless you stick your head under the water to listen for the sucking sound.

Just don't tell anyone, OK?