10-07-2003, 10:11 PM
(This post was last modified: 10-07-2003, 10:32 PM by Occhidiangela.)
A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says "Hi, I hate drawing welfare, I'd really rather have a job."
The man behind the welfare desk says "Your timing is excellent. We just
got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The guy says "You're pulling my leg!"
The welfare clerk says "Yeah, well, you started it."
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Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven where they are met at the Pearly
gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives that
I am granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want.
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren" and *poof*, she's gone.
The second nun says, "I want to be Madonna" and *poof*, she's gone.
The third nun says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."
St.Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks.
"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry but that name doesn't ring a
bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
He reads the paper. He hands it back to her and says...."No Sister, this headline says "Sahara Pipeline, laid by 2,300 men in 6 months.
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A termite walks into a saloon and asks "Is the bar tender here?"
The man behind the welfare desk says "Your timing is excellent. We just
got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, but he'll supply all of your clothes. Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort her on her overseas holiday trips. The starting salary is $200,000 a year".
The guy says "You're pulling my leg!"
The welfare clerk says "Yeah, well, you started it."
=====================================================
=====================================================
Three Italian nuns die and go to heaven where they are met at the Pearly
gates by St. Peter. He says, "Ladies, you all led such wonderful lives that
I am granting you six months to go back to earth and be anyone you want.
The first nun says, "I want to be Sophia Loren" and *poof*, she's gone.
The second nun says, "I want to be Madonna" and *poof*, she's gone.
The third nun says, "I want to be Sara Pipalini."
St.Peter looks perplexed. "Who?" he asks.
"Sara Pipalini" replies the nun.
St. Peter shakes his head and says, "I'm sorry but that name doesn't ring a
bell."
The nun then takes a newspaper out of her habit and hands it to St. Peter.
He reads the paper. He hands it back to her and says...."No Sister, this headline says "Sahara Pipeline, laid by 2,300 men in 6 months.
======================================================
A termite walks into a saloon and asks "Is the bar tender here?"
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete