I'd like to take the time right now to apologize for losing my temper last night during the raid. I really should have kept my "professional" face on until I'd cooled down and I would like to apologize. I'd also like to explain the events that lead up to my outburst to give you an insight into what was going on.
The first that I was in a great deal of pain before we started. I've got a umbillical hernia that I will be having surgery on in September. Usually you can live with a umbillical hernia for several years before getting it corrected. Mine is evidently bad enough that the surgeon ordered it done ASAP. In fact he wanted to do it the day after I saw him a month or so back but I was able to put it off until after a big project at work. So consequently there are days when the pain is searing - last night was one of them. I'm not stating this for sympathy but to explain how my temper was already compromised.
Then when we were forming up I tried to work out with the other paladins in Healer, "buffbot" and finally raid chat what blessings they were going to do. Not receiving ANY response I made the decision to salvation the even numbered groups in the raid and Bless the MT with Light. Almost immediately things didn't go well, healers were getting aggro due to the fact that they were not blessed with Salvation. I explained again that I was doing the even groups with Salvation and the OTHER two paladins would have to work out who was doing what. When I noticed some of the odd numbered groups were still not salvationed I blessed them on the fly and tried to keep my mana up to help with healing. It was frustrating to say the least the lack of response my communications got.
Add into it a meatshield who argued with every strategy and was putting down my friend Anadrol's ability to tank or really any of our raid's tanks. Who also kept advocating that the use of decursive was mandatory and anyone who wasn't using it was doing something seriously wrong and my mood worsened.
The one "role" a paladin has in a raid is to be a buffbot :rolleyes: and a cleanse bot. We provide auras and can help heal but no one brings a paladin on a raid because their healing saves the day. ;) To have someone continue to argue that I should turn over two of the unique abilities I have to a mod was insulting and infuriating. Whispered arguments on the "legality" of using decursive and accusations that I was hurting the raid by refusing to install it also helped spiral me into a foul mood.
The final two straws were whispers from folks for blessings in the middle of combat and the blame for a wipe being laid on the paladins for not cleansing Mind Control off players in the Luci fight. I had had my doubts that I could cleanse them (turns out I was right) but I dutifully spent all of my time cleansing everyone in the even groups right up until the moment I died to one of Luci's guards. I hadn't spent one mana point on my own health while I frantically cast cleanse on everyone who got the 2k debuff and was Mindcontrolled. Some would say that I failed the group by not keeping myself alive in that fight. They are probably right. Right after that it seemed to me that folks were blaming the paladins for the wipe and I lost my temper.
First off with a 5 minute duration on my blessings I make every attempt to bless all of the even numbered groups plus the maintank and then drink to full before combat starts. Sometimes, well frequently, fights will last longer than 5 minutes. When I see my blessing is running out I will refresh in this order: MT, MT's healer, and the healers in the even numbered groups. I make every effort to salvation the casters and rogues but I must conserve my mana for when the healers take damage to help keep them on their feet. I must by necessity assign the casters/rogues to a lesser priority for blessings. If this makes me a bad player than I'll withdraw from raiding in favor of someone who can do it all at once.
That being said I would like to implore folks to trust in each other. I know I goof around a LOT in /ga and /ra chat but I really am not as dumb as I appear. I'm aware of my job, such as it is, in raids. I know how to hit the 7 button (cleanse) and how to bless folks. Please do NOT whisper me for these things in a fight. I'm doing my best juggling blessings, cleansing and throwing heals out. Please have confidence that I am aware of the situations and am doing my best to fulfill that role. I don't tell the mages when they should frostnova, the rogues when to stealth, the healers when to heal, the warlocks what curse to cast, or the tanks when to taunt. Please extend me the same courtesy.
Again I'm sorry I lost my temper. At least one of the problems was removed last night but I still owe you all an apology.
X-Posted to Carpe Aurum.
The first that I was in a great deal of pain before we started. I've got a umbillical hernia that I will be having surgery on in September. Usually you can live with a umbillical hernia for several years before getting it corrected. Mine is evidently bad enough that the surgeon ordered it done ASAP. In fact he wanted to do it the day after I saw him a month or so back but I was able to put it off until after a big project at work. So consequently there are days when the pain is searing - last night was one of them. I'm not stating this for sympathy but to explain how my temper was already compromised.
Then when we were forming up I tried to work out with the other paladins in Healer, "buffbot" and finally raid chat what blessings they were going to do. Not receiving ANY response I made the decision to salvation the even numbered groups in the raid and Bless the MT with Light. Almost immediately things didn't go well, healers were getting aggro due to the fact that they were not blessed with Salvation. I explained again that I was doing the even groups with Salvation and the OTHER two paladins would have to work out who was doing what. When I noticed some of the odd numbered groups were still not salvationed I blessed them on the fly and tried to keep my mana up to help with healing. It was frustrating to say the least the lack of response my communications got.
Add into it a meatshield who argued with every strategy and was putting down my friend Anadrol's ability to tank or really any of our raid's tanks. Who also kept advocating that the use of decursive was mandatory and anyone who wasn't using it was doing something seriously wrong and my mood worsened.
The one "role" a paladin has in a raid is to be a buffbot :rolleyes: and a cleanse bot. We provide auras and can help heal but no one brings a paladin on a raid because their healing saves the day. ;) To have someone continue to argue that I should turn over two of the unique abilities I have to a mod was insulting and infuriating. Whispered arguments on the "legality" of using decursive and accusations that I was hurting the raid by refusing to install it also helped spiral me into a foul mood.
The final two straws were whispers from folks for blessings in the middle of combat and the blame for a wipe being laid on the paladins for not cleansing Mind Control off players in the Luci fight. I had had my doubts that I could cleanse them (turns out I was right) but I dutifully spent all of my time cleansing everyone in the even groups right up until the moment I died to one of Luci's guards. I hadn't spent one mana point on my own health while I frantically cast cleanse on everyone who got the 2k debuff and was Mindcontrolled. Some would say that I failed the group by not keeping myself alive in that fight. They are probably right. Right after that it seemed to me that folks were blaming the paladins for the wipe and I lost my temper.
First off with a 5 minute duration on my blessings I make every attempt to bless all of the even numbered groups plus the maintank and then drink to full before combat starts. Sometimes, well frequently, fights will last longer than 5 minutes. When I see my blessing is running out I will refresh in this order: MT, MT's healer, and the healers in the even numbered groups. I make every effort to salvation the casters and rogues but I must conserve my mana for when the healers take damage to help keep them on their feet. I must by necessity assign the casters/rogues to a lesser priority for blessings. If this makes me a bad player than I'll withdraw from raiding in favor of someone who can do it all at once.
That being said I would like to implore folks to trust in each other. I know I goof around a LOT in /ga and /ra chat but I really am not as dumb as I appear. I'm aware of my job, such as it is, in raids. I know how to hit the 7 button (cleanse) and how to bless folks. Please do NOT whisper me for these things in a fight. I'm doing my best juggling blessings, cleansing and throwing heals out. Please have confidence that I am aware of the situations and am doing my best to fulfill that role. I don't tell the mages when they should frostnova, the rogues when to stealth, the healers when to heal, the warlocks what curse to cast, or the tanks when to taunt. Please extend me the same courtesy.
Again I'm sorry I lost my temper. At least one of the problems was removed last night but I still owe you all an apology.
X-Posted to Carpe Aurum.