07-06-2015, 04:21 AM
(07-04-2015, 07:13 PM)kandrathe Wrote: For me, also 19. I happened to be in a ballet troupe at the time, and one of my best friends came out and professed his love for me. I had suspected he was gay, but it didn't matter to me. But, it was awkward then being knowingly desired by him. In that moment of sexual identity clarity, I told him I was definitely a heterosexual, but I very much valued his friendship. He felt rebuffed, and being relegated to "the friend zone" ruined our relationship.
Damn, dude. I always have to pursue. I don't even know what it's like to be pursued. Maybe it's because I'm a short, bearish nerd. (Kudos, I guess?) It can be legitimately difficult to continue a friendship if you're really crushing on someone. Sometimes you just have to distance yourself so you don't act like a weirdo. It's not always as petulant as the fedora/cargo shorts/socks-with-sandals "friend zone."
DeeBye Wrote:I'm not trivializing it at all. I'm just stating that it's sad that people actually do this, and politicians pander to them.
What's worse is when it becomes a dominant political strategy. As far as same-sex marriage goes in the U.S., it has been a dominant political strategy to oppose gay marriage even for Democratic candidates. Neither Obama nor Hillary flip-flopped until sometime in the past 3 years, and that's embarrassing considering these are Ivy League educated people who have a LOT of "real world" experience. They're not people from insular, sheltered communities repeating the cultural mores of their tiny mid-western villages. These are people who are basically spitting in the faces of their friends and expecting them to say "Okay, I get why you're doing this right now, and it's okay."
Of course, when Republican candidates do it, it's straight-up fear mongering. They're stoking the Evangelical vote. Democrats are just trying to not alienate the on-the-fence voters.
-Lem