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"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Occhidiangela - 09-12-2004
I like these "It Was a Dark and Stormy Night" contest finalists, opening lines of the hypothetical or real bad novels. Read like a Letterman Top Ten list . . .
10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it."
9) "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."
8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."
7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.'"
6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."
5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store."
4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."
3) "Like an overripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."
2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."
AND THE WINNER IS.....
1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window, revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, 'You lied!"
These are some of life's guilty little pleasures, and mostly groaners. Hip Hip, Hackray!
Occhi
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Taeme - 09-12-2004
I ... totally don't get the last one
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Chaerophon - 09-12-2004
You know, he was supposed to turn into a prince :)
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Zippyy - 09-12-2004
Some of those are real knee-slappers!
By the way, you got the 1,000th thread in the Lounge :D
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Archon_Wing - 09-12-2004
No. 6 is disturbing. But I like reading that kind of thing.
I'm a fan of no.2 :) Some things are obvious, but one should still ought to state them.
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Chaerophon - 09-12-2004
My favourite is definitely number 6. :)
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Urza-DSF - 09-12-2004
6 is good, but #7 makes me chuckle whenever I think of the line.
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Munkay - 09-12-2004
Occhidiangela,Sep 12 2004, 04:14 AM Wrote:7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.'":lol:
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Yrrek - 09-12-2004
I personally liked number:
8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Munkay - 09-12-2004
That's just because it supplied you with a pick up line for the next woman you find. Don't deny it! ;)
Cheers,
Munk
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Yrrek - 09-13-2004
*shrugs* You caught me! :P
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Lady Vashj - 09-13-2004
I love #2. It fits the description of so many of my first- and second-degree relatives, especially the men on my mother's side (including all my brothers).
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Minionman - 09-13-2004
I like 10, 9, and 2
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Occhidiangela - 09-14-2004
Your amphibian sig has me giggling in fond memory of a D & D, tabletop, raid ages ago, where I was the DM. I had a bunch of giant frogs waiting in ambush to attack the party, who were searching for a green dragon in a swamp. The group rolled a 1, which of course indicated Surprise, at which point I bellowed out:
"Cry Havoc, and let slip the Frogs of War!"
The groans of dismay at my horrific joke drowned out the "awe sh**" from the hobbit on point . . .
Thanks for the memory.
Occhi
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Raven Vale - 09-14-2004
Number 8 for me , He describes her quite well , then goes on to say she defies description :lol:
Take care
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Medicine Man - 09-14-2004
I like #5 -- its rather benign, clever and amusing. I also like #4, for roughly the same reasons as #5.
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Lady Vashj - 09-14-2004
Quote:Your amphibian sig has me giggling in fond memory of a D & D, tabletop, raid ages ago, where I was the DM. I had a bunch of giant frogs waiting in ambush to attack the party, who were searching for a green dragon in a swamp. The group rolled a 1, which of course indicated Surprise, at which point I bellowed out:Oops, I already changed it...would you like me to bring it back?
"Cry Havoc, and let slip the Frogs of War!"
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Ajax - 09-15-2004
nt = nearby territory (?)
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Occhidiangela - 09-15-2004
The giggle I got was reward enough. :D
Occhi
"It was a Sturm und Drangy Nacht . . ." - Lady Vashj - 09-16-2004
I wonder if Kristen still has that one story she wrote...with a bit of work, if I recall, it was possible to condense the first and second paragraphs into one single sentence, and boy was it loony (something about a stethoscope in a safe, except the "stethescope" should read "shoe named Emily"). However, I know she's published it already, which I think would take it out of the running.