05-04-2005, 11:16 PM
Lady Vashj,May 4 2005, 03:02 PM Wrote:I wish this weird lady who claims I ruined her life by fixing her up with my ex would go away...(of course, the ex has to stay gone too.)
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I wish I had been the first to reply to this wish.
Your wish is granted! The weird lady who's dating your ex dies. Your ex begins dating someone else, and they both become incredibly famous. She publicly credits her success to meeting him, and pictures of the two making out in public are on the front cover of every checkstand "celebrity" magazine. You're not sure if you're jealous or horrified, but you do know that you can never go to the grocery store again.
Just when you think things couldn't get any worse, he publishes his memoirs. You're not mentioned in them at all, but he does include some of your deepest, darkest secrets and traumatic childhood memories. The thing is, he claims that they're *his* memories, which means that people discuss them, in detail, everywhere you go. You can't set the record straight, because you really don't want to admit that any of those things actually happened to you.
You decide to stay in your house, and avoid the TV, telephone, and radio. You burn the mail when it arrives, in case there's something about him in it. You don't connect to the internet anymore, so you mostly spend your time playing minesweeper and free cell, at least until the power gets shut off.
You wish for your old life, when your ex wasn't famous and wouldn't leave you alone.
Why can't we all just get along
--Pete
--Pete