...might have to say goodbye to Lurkers on Tich :(

[Skandranon]

I've seen similar disinterest from people who could have done something about the attacks while playing Alliance on PvE servers in Goldshire and Astranaar. 

One example: while waiting to get into Dire Maul, there was a huge crowd in the entryway. Bolty flagged himself and immediately was blasted by six Horde. There were at least fourteen Alliance in the area, and no one lifted a finger to help. Sword of Doom resurrected Bolty and got flagged in the process. Naturally, the Horde went after him. I retaliated on a hunter, but we were both killed. Again, nothing from the other Alliance.

There are differences between PvP and PvE servers.  The constant state of PvP on the PvP servers changes the dynamic.  It doesn't mean that disinterest doesn't happen for PvP fights on the PvP servers and it doesn't mean that PvP doesn't happen on PvE servers.  There is a difference though and the PvP community of strangers has felt more closely knit to me from my limited experience.
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I don't disagree with your point. I think the PvP community is probably closer knit, but I don't think it's because the server changes the dynamic. People who want PvP and who are inclined to that sense of unity head to PvP servers, while people who are generally apathetic to PvP head to PvE servers.

When the Horde are attacking someplace, there's no difference between PvP and PvE servers. All the attackers are flagged, so you can start combat whenever you like. And yet, the most common response I see in Ironforge is "Wait and hope they go away".

That isn't to say that all of the players on PvE servers are apathetic to PvP. There are quite a lot of enthusiastic PvPers on Stormrage, and having spent some time in the major PvP zones, I've seen a lot of huge battles. However, while some who want PvP go to PvP servers and some go to normal servers, all of the ones who don't go to normal servers.