Not sure why this made me laugh
#1
Programming versus Porn

A few years back, my boss put a couple of guys who were porn surfing at work "on the beach" for a week without pay to make an example of them. They got the message, and cleaned up their acts. I like that approach: swift boot to the head speaks volumes.

More recently, a fellow in our office disappeared on day. Found out a few weeks later that porn site surfing at work was his crime. Don't know if such extreme sanction was warranted, but the policy has been out, and well publicized, for eons.

This above article twists the topic on its head, and for some reason it hit my funny bone.
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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#2
Hi,

This above article twists the topic on its head, and for some reason it hit my funny bone.

Of course it did. It's a humorous article and I'm sure that the author is happy that you found it so. :)

Frankly, I like http://www.bbspot.com/News/2003/09/tachyon.html even better, but then again everyone knows I'm a tecknogeek :)

--Pete

How big was the aquarium in Noah's ark?

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#3
Hahaha, priceless.

Quite frankly, I don't understand how anyone would want to surf the Internet for pornography for a living. Talk about unfulfilling work. I'm not in any way biased 'against' pornography; as it were, I have some myself, but doing it everyday.. it sends shivers down my spine just to think about it. No wonder he turned to hacking. ;)
Ask me about Norwegian humour Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTs9SE2sDTw
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#4
Hi,

Browse that site -- it is all humor. As in parody.

--Pete

How big was the aquarium in Noah's ark?

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#5
I'm not familiar with the site, so I wasn't aware of what kind of website it was written for, but I have to admit it sounded kind of fishy when I read it.

Still, big bucket of funny!
Ask me about Norwegian humour Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTs9SE2sDTw
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#6
BBSpot is a great site, I have been keeping up with it for about a year now. The fake news stories are hilarious. Just don't get confused between that and FARK. FARK news actually accurs somewhere in the world. ;)
The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation - Henry David Thoreau

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and at the rate I'm going, I'm going to be invincible.

Chicago wargaming club
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#7
Oprah as a gravitational field?

That was harsh, but it made me giggle in naughty glee.

These folks at BB Spot remind me a bit of The Onion in their approach, which on the balance is a good thing, all things considered. :D
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Reply
#8
"Fell for it?"

What, do you think I thought the article was about a real erotic editor at Yahoo? The link was to share the mirth. The article was so obvious (editor Vice, come on) that what surprised me was that I found myself chuckling at it anyway, hence why I wondered why I laughed at it. I read quite a few of the other links at BBspot before I dropped the link here. My post had two purposes.

While the article was funny, at the same time the topic it burlesques is dead serious, insofar as folks who no fooling lose their jobs for porn surfing. For example, a member of the local school board about three months ago. He was in the news for all of the wrong reasons.
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Reply
#9
Hi,

While the article was funny, at the same time the topic it burlesques is dead serious

Nothing remarkable about that. Just think of the number of jokes and parodies you know about death, taxes and golf :)

insofar as folks who no fooling lose their jobs for porn surfing.

Which is totally stupid. Know the rule at candy factories about snacking on the product? Help yourself to all you want. Most everybody gets their fill in a couple of days and there is no problem.

But, yeah, it is serious. When I was still working, I could spend hours on fora but not a second on porn (didn't particularly bother me, the fora are more interesting). More of a reflection about the screwed up attitude in the USA than a question of punishment for wasting time. Oh, and as an aside, my surfing fora was productive -- I think better when I'm not thinking ;)

--Pete

How big was the aquarium in Noah's ark?

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#10
I mean really. I never understood the pornography concept. It's a bit like drinking decaf coffee, sure, you get a taste, sort of, but you ain't getting the real thing that makes you tic.

And what good does it do? Giving men and women unrealistic standards about sex, and everything is so saturated with big boobs and penis enlargement stuff, and all these other things, that normal folk's self esteem has to suffer. (Not me. I judge my self by a different standard, I am fantastically hideously atrociously ugly, and damn proud of it. If beautiful people can brag about how good looking they are, they by golly I can brag about how I can curdle water. I am Piers Anthony Ogre Ugly) I mean, we are becoming desensitized about what real beauty is. Voluptous beauty. Real body parts. Holy crap, I mean, there are butt implants, lip implants, calf and thigh implants, boob implants, cheek implants, pectoral implants, and even hip implants. Damn bloody hell, sounds like somebody is humping a Barbie doll.

Mayhap somebody could explain it to me, cause I just don't get it. Or maybe it's cause I have what I consider a fine pretty wife, a Cornbread Fed Southern Gal. She's a little chubby in the right sorts of spots, and 20 to 30 years from now, when looks no longer matter, there will still be a great deal of interest in her simply because she has more then just looks, she has brains, personality, and it will prolly take me at least another 30 to 40 years just to figure her out. (If ever. I am being optimistic) She has bottle glass green eyes that glitter and sparkle when she smiles. I am, and, always will be, completely entranced by her.

Are we so enthralled by Betty Barbie Body that the girl in the next office cubical is not enough to hold our attention? We have to go to work and look at porn as well? Only further ruining your standards, blowing out your self esteem, and causing you to turn your nose up at Anne Average Anybody? I could only imagine how this might ruin a marriage, losing interest in your wife because you had your standards of beauty or sex appeal utterly destroyed by artificial fillers. Hell, might as well fall in love and marry a damn Twinkie. It too is artificial, is all fluff and stuff, and has no real content.

I just don't understand. Maybe it's a generational thing, but, I doubt it, as there are plenty of men my age that are hooked as well. The boat left, and I was not on it. I just don't get it. Why bother looking at it, when you could be doing it? What does looking at it get you anyways? I really don't understand what folks get from it. It's not living breathing sex, it's decaf coffee. I know what some people get from it, they get a lonely act of desperation... I am teetering on that line I think where the lovely Griselda might give me a stern look... But, um, how does anybody get anything from "that" ? Fill me in, explain it to me. I honestly don't get it.

Since I am going to get a warning flag anyway, don't those perverts realize that a naked woman or a woman in a thong bikini is not really that interesting? Sure, there is something to be said for a nice pair of breasts jiggling around, I have seen my fair share. (In living breathing flesh mind you. Not centerfolds, I like viewing feral breasts in the wild, not in magazines) I lived through the 70's where streaking was a big fad. And while looking at the naked female form can be interesting, there is something to be said about a fully dressed women that arouses attention. It's the Christmas Morning Look at the Pretty Wrapping Paper I Want to Tear Off Anticipation. Or does nobody care about that any more? Hell, why would looking at a pair of boobs even matter if the anticipation of getting them is gone? What ever happened to the days of (not so) innocent fantasy where you tried to guess if the librarian was wearing sexy garters and lace under that wool skirt and suit? Maybe it's a book or television argument sort of thing, where the fine art of reading books and using your mind to make pictures is dying off? People are getting to stupid to do this, so they want every day dream, fantasy, or whatever spoonfed to them in living technocolour? Has the mind become that feeble in the microwave age? If so, I am a bit scared about what is to come.

Discover the prOn within. Go off and fingerpaint your better half's naked body or something. Go forth and commit erotic acts of a random nature, instead of watching Jenna Jameson taking it up the hiney yet again. Go read a book. Go read one of THOSE books and then try what you find with your better half. Go feed your mind with real nurishing food, and see if your life improves. There are plenty of interesting mind blowing things to do out there, and watching pr0n on the internet robs you of those experiences. Why watch the same old grind when you could be turning your partner into a human sundae?

I might be showing my age a bit, but, Love the one your with.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
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#11
Hi,

Isn't the life you have enough? Why do you read fiction, go to fictional movies, play *games* based on fictional worlds?

If you can answer one, then you already know the answer to the other other (hint, it's the same thing). And if you can't answer either, then I weep for the sterility of your life.

--Pete

How big was the aquarium in Noah's ark?

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#12
Hmm never thought of it quite like that before.

Still though, I would say it's a good bit different reading Stephen King and watching porno. One feeds the mind, one does not.

I guess I still don't get it. Mayhap I have missed the obvious, as I tend to do that. Playing DiabloII, The Sims, or Civ III boosts the self esteem, makes you think, and rewards you for stimulating your mind, while pr0n has no benifit what so ever that I can see. In games, you get that rush when you scatter virtual giblits all over the battlefield. While watching pr0n you degrade your sense of sexual values and desensitize your self to beauty by fostering a false concept of what is desireable.

While it is a good point Pete, it's um, well, I am not sure. Missing something. I can answer one, why I read books and play games and do stuff like that. I only watch TV occasionaly and I rarely go out and watch movies. (Not sure, but, I think the last movie I went out to the theatre for was Terminator II... I think) I love computer games with all my heart and soul, having seen them grow from humble origins, little single coloured blips on a screen reacting to another blip. I am still utterly wowed by high graphics games. It blows my mind to realize how much things have changed. But to watch pr0n, well, I could think of better things to do. Mayhap my brain is flawed somehow and I lack something that makes me act like other men. Mayhap I am a big fat idiot who can't wrap his mind around this concept. While that statement is very thought provoking, something about it lacks substance to me. Er, I probably lack the substance needed to understand mayhap.

I still don't get it.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
Reply
#13
Pornography is just a means to an end.

I can't imagine anyone watching porn for entertainment. It merely causes a tittilating response in one's nether regions which culminates in the expulsion of one's natural liquids. It is -not- a replacement of human contact, but it is a means to an end for people who are not in a position to seek out said human contact.

I should also mention that, personally, the more clothes a woman wears, the more attractive she appears. A naked woman is not seen as an erotic creature, but rather a biological one; as if I'm watching a scientific tv-show on the human body. There's no mystery, and thus no thrills.

I should also add that Vivid-women are -not- the best looking women out there.

I suspect one of the reasons why you feel you don't "get" pornography, is because you don't need to.
Ask me about Norwegian humour Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTs9SE2sDTw
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#14
Hi,

In games, you get that rush when you scatter virtual giblits all over the battlefield. While watching pr0n you degrade your sense of sexual values and desensitize your self to beauty by fostering a false concept of what is desireable.

So, watching people kill each other doesn't degrade your sense of the value of life, but watching people make love does degrade your sexual values? Sorry, but we can't have it both ways. Either seeing images has no effect (riiight) or it does have an effect.

"False sense of what is desirable?" How is that different from what we get from every Bond movie, from every show where a cop or waitress lives in a mansion, from, indeed, nearly every piece of fiction shown on TV or the movies. And why is it more odious to have that "false sense" in matters sexual than it is to have it in other matters. Besides, that "false sense" is fostered as much or more in every commercial for everything from cat food to exercise machines (not to mention in every TV show and movie (ever notice that the female ADA's in the various Law and Order series look nothing like Janet Reno??) as it is in porn.

Now, I'll admit that the porn I've seen has been mostly a turn off. But that has to do with production values, with quality, with the fact that since porn is considered a second class activity its producers put out a second class product. Yeah, most porn is a waste of time, as is most TV, most movies and most games. No more, no less and for the same reasons.

Nope, I'm not saying that you should embrace porn as a favorite pastime. I don't. But I have little difficulty understanding those that do. And, as a long time gamer and science fiction fan, I can understand the effect of the scorn heap on porn watchers -- most of society heaps that same scorn on me for my interests.

--Pete

How big was the aquarium in Noah's ark?

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#15
Hi,

I can't imagine anyone watching porn for entertainment.

That statement combined with your signature set me to laughing. With one whole season being basically the Buffy does Spike show, you either don't know porn or choose to ignore it when you like it.

--Pete

How big was the aquarium in Noah's ark?

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#16
I think better when I'm not thinking

That is beautifully Zen. Somehwere out there in space is a Zen influenced satellite . . . Huzzah!
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Reply
#17
Tom Leher said it best:

"Dirty books are fun!" :D

I guess you see porn and ask "why" while I see porn and say "why not" . . . but who thought that a melon and a pony were right for that story line?

(Bad take of of an infamous RFK saying, I confess)
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Reply
#18
Quote: So, watching people kill each other doesn't degrade your sense of the value of life, but watching people make love does degrade your sexual values? Sorry, but we can't have it both ways. Either seeing images has no effect (riiight) or it does have an effect.

I dare say playing games has allowed me to preserve human life :huh: There has been plenty of times I have wanted to physically strangle somebody, and, have instead, gone and battled an orc or a flame spewing ninja or two till the feeling passes. I am a staunch pacifist who dislikes violence, but, even I need to blow off steam or expel primal urges once in a while. Blowing crap up in video games is a good way to do it. I value human life in all forms, and will fight to defend it, even with folks I do not like nor care for in the least. So no, violent games don't degrade my value of life. But then again, I don't play Grand Theft Auto or games like that.

As for degrading your sexual values, watching most porn does. Unrealistic expectations. Most women do not have boobs the size of basketballs. People have a hard time unstandering what they see in a porn film is not a realistic situation. That 15 to 20 minute sex scene probably took 2 days to film, many out takes, and that poor guy probably fired a few rounds before he was supossed to or could not even get it to rise on command from being overspent and under to much pressure. And people feel disapointed and inadequate because they don't have sexual marathon stamina like the folks on film, hence the need for so many pills, enlargers, boosters, etc, almost all of which are snake oil. The whole porn industry is designed to down other people's sense of self worth, so these products can be sold. And I am quoting Larry Flint on that one. It's one of the greatist cons ever and each day thousands of idiots line up waiting to have their money taken. Larry had much to say about his own industry. I like him. I think he's funny. And when he said that porno makes men feel inadequate, so they go out and buy these magazines and tapes to satisfy themselves, only to make themselves feel even more inadequate, creating a vicious cycle that makes him rich, I found my self almost admiring him for his business savvy. Folks who are very addicted to pornography would rather be with a video or a mag then another human being, mostly due to the fact that most women don't meet his standards, either turn him down flat, or wont give him the time of day. And since he is not Ron Jeremy or one of the Titans, he feels let down and full of shame. So, he would rather do his thing with videos rather then be put down, as he thinks in his mind will happen, or let down. Sex is a normal healthy fun activity, and negative feelings should not be involved. No guilt, no fuss, no muss. And it should be more then just a biological urge. Humans are quite capable of shagging as a recreational activity as well. I am no prude, I don't believe in sex through a hole in the sheet. But I don't think it should be filmed and milked as an industry. Perhaps I have a skewed view on the issue because I was raised in whore houses and brothels where my mother worked.

I don't watch much TV, so, I don't know. I occasionally watch the Animal Planet, The Learning Channel, Discovery Channel, or the History Channel. I also watch SciFi every so often. Usually, I am at the computer or reading a book. I have watched TV grow from tiny 5 inch fuzzy snowy gray screens to what they are today, and, you know what? It's still little more then a novelty to me. The only show I watched religiously was Carson and when he went off the air, well, not much reason to turn on the TV anymore. I guess it's because I don't flood my mind with crap is why I hold the views I do. Hmm. There is a lot of crap in there, not quite an accurate statement. I don't flood my mind with certain kinds of crap.

Quote:Yeah, most porn is a waste of time, as is most TV, most movies and most games. No more, no less and for the same reasons.

I agree!! Most of the computer games I play are crap. I could be doing better productive things. I could be tackling my list of Books to Read Before I Die. Looking over a budget for the 561st time trying to figure out how to squeeze out a few more bucks. Teaching my animals how to do more tricks. Getting around to learning to speak other languages fluently. Improving my terrible writing skills and contributing more time to worthy things. But I am a cranky old fart who likes nothing more then to sit in his chair close to the wood burning stove feeling the heat seep into his old bones. And it's all crap. Bad crap even. My computer as a productivity tool is a total lie... I am hooked on gaming. And SciFi novels are a total waste of time as well, and God bless 'em for it. I have been on a Piers Anthony kick again, and damnit, if I could just put the damn things down, I could get some real reading done. I have a great book on human dream sequencing and sleep stages, but I have yet to make it past the intro. I am still trying to finish a rather dry buy informative book on the guns of the Civil War. And that book about how folks today are violent and misbehaved and get things like body piercings because they have so few sanctioned rights of passage in our modern day culture and how we are all screwed up and have little sense of self worth is mighty interesting buy darn it, Isle of View is a whole lot funnier. And dadnabbit, when I should be reading Blight, a book about the state of affairs of the homeless underworld, I am reading Stephen King or Robin Cook or something scary when I can't sleep and it's past my bedtime. (Stephen King only becomes interesting oddly, when it's past midnight. Otherwise, I can't seem to get interested)

Geeze, I can only imagine what Mr. King and Mr. Anthony do to my "false sense" of whatever.

But I still do not understand porn and the big facination with it.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
Reply
#19
Quote:Dirty books are fun!

Yes, yes they are. Ahem, certain books of an instructional nature are a blast, when shared between a couple. Figuring out if you can do things like "The Horse and Cart" or "The Swaying Swan Necks" can be a great investment of your time. Some times the very title of the act in question can be amost as much fun as trying it, as in the case of "The Emperor's Heavenly Thone of Passion Lost In a Garden of Ten Thousand Earthly Delights." I guess it loses something in the English translation?
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
Reply
#20
Pete Wrote:Hi,

I can't imagine anyone watching porn for entertainment.

That statement combined with your signature set me to laughing.  With one whole season being basically the Buffy does Spike show, you either don't know porn or choose to ignore it when you like it.

--Pete


I do not agree with your assessment.

Pornography in general has a few common elements

* Horrible music
* Horrible acting
* Naked people having sex on screen

none of which can be found on Buffy - The vampire slayer.

edit: now having read your previous post where you mentioned the ADAs on Law and Order, I have to say I'm very inclined to disagree with you. I'm slightly offended that you would classify a show for containing beautiful people as pornography. Perhaps my outrage is partially rooted in that I've never encountered someone with a definition as broad as yours of the word 'pornography' before. I think it frightens me a little.
Ask me about Norwegian humour Smile
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kTs9SE2sDTw
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