Why does my local Dominoes suck so bad?

[Occhidiangela]

I hate beer too. (Sorry Occhi.) If I wanted yeast, I'd bake bread.

Malt beverages aren't all that bad, if you're looking for a lemonade or Sprite with a kick. Mike's, Bacardi, Seagram's, and a few other companies make what is essentially carbonated wine coolers.

Or, if you want to go the cheap route, get some DeKyuper's Pucker and mix it with Sprite. (NOTE: You must be 21 or older to access the site, per their rules.) I prefer the raspberry, but they make lots of other flavors. It adds a fruity tang, a bit of alcoholic zip, and you'd have to drink at least four of 'em to even think about being wobbly.
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No need to apologize for not liking beer, dearest Duck, 'tis an acquired taste. Lemonade and grain are a fine choice, cranberry juice, ice, vodka, mint leaves likewise refreshing, and of course, there is always wine.

Of course, for the real cheap brain cell death, there is Mountain Dew, Grain Alcohol, and ice, in a blender. Add a few twists of lime, and on a hot day . . . oblivion.

Then