The Corrupted Wish Game

[Minionman]

Granted.  You are now flexible enough to sit on your own head - an exceptionally rare talent, and one that will gain you a job as an acrobat in just about any circus or amusement park in the world.  Unfortunately, there's more to acrobatics than just astonishing flexibility.  You are now obligated to dedicate your life to training for more cool tricks in order to keep drawing crowds and thus keep your job.  Eventually you are thrown out on your ear the instant age, injury, and/or RSS stiffen your joints a little.  You end up performing your tricks in drag for money and booze at a gay bar, but lose that job as soon as you start looking too old.  Eventually you wind up on the street, doing tricks for passerby in the hopes that they'll drop coins into your hat.  A documentary maker sees you and remembers you from a circus performance he saw as a little boy, and decides to do a film about your sad, sad life story.  You earn enough to leave you set for life from the film rights, but you die tragically from the effects of alcoholism the night before the premiere.  A memorial scholarship fund is set up for circus performers who are too old to keep performing, and thereby your name lives on forever.  But it ain't doing you any good.

I wish I had some duct tape.
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Sure. You are kdinapped and held hostage, and now have a supply of duct tape conveniently located at your ankles, wrists, and mouth. Unfortunately, it's used duct tape, but is better than nothing.


I wish action movies didn't always have to have some "love interest" in them.