Posts: 1,034
Threads: 42
Joined: May 2004
foksieLoY,May 1 2005, 07:51 AM Wrote:I wish I could point my finger at the door and they would open.
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Granted. However, your demonstrations or directions to other peopel get hard to hear with all those doors opening and closing.
I wish I could see through several layers of clothing.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 6,430
Threads: 204
Joined: Feb 2003
Minionman,May 1 2005, 08:11 AM Wrote:I wish I could see through several layers of clothing.
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Granted. You now learn that for many people, clothing is a blessing, and is used to hide a multitude of sins. You also discover that there really are only a few people you'd like to see naked. The rest you'd be just as happy to hide the flaws behind those layers that you now have not choice but to see through. Be careful, you may want to poke out your eyes after a bad run of horridness . . .
I wish I could breath underwater.
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Posts: 10
Threads: 2
Joined: Apr 2005
Occhidiangela,May 1 2005, 06:06 PM Wrote:I wish I could breath underwater.
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I have granted your wish. You are now a fish.
I wish i could eat soup with a fork.
You can not kill that which is already dead. At least not easily.
Posts: 6,430
Threads: 204
Joined: Feb 2003
foksieLoY,May 1 2005, 11:08 AM Wrote:I have granted your wish. You are now a fish.
I wish i could eat soup with a fork.
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Wish granted, soup congealed over night in the refrigerator and is now a thick, custardy consistenty suitable for eating with a fork. Bon appetite!
I wish fish had hands, so I could have typed the above granted wish. :blink:
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Posts: 10
Threads: 2
Joined: Apr 2005
Occhidiangela,May 1 2005, 07:46 PM Wrote:I wish fish had hands, so I could have typed the above granted wish. :blink:
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Granted. You now live on Dr. Monroe's island...
I wish that i could float in a library.
You can not kill that which is already dead. At least not easily.
Posts: 24
Threads: 1
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foksieLoY,May 1 2005, 08:55 PM Wrote:I wish that i could float in a library.
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*Poof* You have teleported into a large library and are apparently floating in mid-air. All the shelves are too far away for you to reach them. Roof is too high and you can't reach the floor. You don't know any way to move around. Also, librarian doesn't like the fact that you are floating and starts poking you with a long broom.
I wish my computer had infinite memory and capability and the ultimate anti-virus system.
~Lucky
~Lukki
Posts: 1,034
Threads: 42
Joined: May 2004
Lucky Barbarian,May 1 2005, 01:37 PM Wrote:I wish my computer had infinite memory and capability and the ultimate anti-virus system.
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Granted. You are now several quadrillion dollars in debt from buying such a nice computer. also, thousands of crooks are going after such a great computer.
I wish Icould see through clothing, and control when it happened or not.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 391
Threads: 26
Joined: Feb 2003
Minionman,May 1 2005, 03:51 PM Wrote:Granted. You are now several quadrillion dollars in debt from buying such a nice computer. also, thousands of crooks are going after such a great computer.
I wish Icould see through clothing, and control when it happened or not.
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Granted! You can see through clothing at will that is hanging on a line, sitting on a shelf, or anyplace else as long as it isn't covering flesh.
I wish that I was a grand master swordsman.
"You can build a perfect machine out of imperfect parts."
-Urza
He's an old-fashioned Amish cyborg with no name. She's a virginal nymphomaniac fairy princess married to the Mob. Together, they fight crime!
The Blizzcon Class Discussion:
Crowd: "Our qq's will blot out the sun"
Warlocks: "Then we will pewpew in the shade"
Posts: 652
Threads: 43
Joined: Feb 2003
Urza-DSF,May 1 2005, 10: Wrote:I wish that I was a grand master swordsman.
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Granted! Sadly though, all swords have mysteriously banished from the face of the earth along with the knowledge of how to make them.
I wish I didn't feel so hapless right now...
"Turn the key deftly in the oiled wards, and seal the hushed casket of my soul" - John Keats, "To Sleep"
Posts: 1,034
Threads: 42
Joined: May 2004
TaiDaishar,May 1 2005, 03:09 PM Wrote:I wish I didn't feel so hapless right now...
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Wish granted. You are now asleep, having a really strange dream about chickens, UFO's, and your brother, which you may or may not have.
I wish I never had to write any more long papers.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 391
Threads: 26
Joined: Feb 2003
Minionman,May 1 2005, 10:01 PM Wrote:Wish granted. You are now asleep, having a really strange dream about chickens, UFO's, and your brother, which you may or may not have.
I wish I never had to write any more long papers.
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Granted! From now on every assignment you ever do will only require one paragraph of text carved into a block of obsidian and written in sumerian.
I wish every person who purchases a gas-guzzling SUV to be tortured without mercy for all eternity.
"You can build a perfect machine out of imperfect parts."
-Urza
He's an old-fashioned Amish cyborg with no name. She's a virginal nymphomaniac fairy princess married to the Mob. Together, they fight crime!
The Blizzcon Class Discussion:
Crowd: "Our qq's will blot out the sun"
Warlocks: "Then we will pewpew in the shade"
Posts: 1,991
Threads: 103
Joined: May 2003
Urza-DSF,May 1 2005, 11: Wrote:I wish every person who purchases a gas-guzzling SUV to be tortured without mercy for all eternity.
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Granted!
Those people are sent to the lower Abyssal plane where I shall rule, and they shall be forced to guzzle my gas for all eternity. For asking for this vengeful wish, God sends you below to watch.
I wish they would stop remaking classic movies.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.
And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.
"Isn't this where...."
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Threads: 204
Joined: Feb 2003
:w00t: Doc,May 1 2005, 11:04 PM Wrote:Granted!
I wish they would stop remaking classic movies.
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Granted. Stillborn at Paramount studios is the remake of The Magnificent Seven (subtitled Naked and in Chains) starring Rebecca Romjin Stamos, Halle Barry, Britteny Murphy, Jeniffer Love Hewitt, Clive Owen, . . . hey, does it matter who was going to be in it, you got it cancelled, you mean old man!
I wish Sophia Loren, Barbara Eden, and Raquel Welch would find Ponce De Leon's Fountain of Youth and drink from it.
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Posts: 391
Threads: 26
Joined: Feb 2003
Occhidiangela,May 2 2005, 01:12 AM Wrote::w00t:
Granted. Stillborn at Paramount studios is the remake of The Magnificent Seven (subtitled Naked and in Chains) starring Rebecca Romjin Stamos, Halle Barry, Britteny Murphy, Jeniffer Love Hewitt, Clive Owen, . . . hey, does it matter who was going to be in it, you got it cancelled, you mean old man!
I wish Sophia Loren, Barbara Eden, and Raquel Welch would find Ponce De Leon's Fountain of Youth and drink from it.
Occhi
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Granted! Upon sipping the fountain water the years fall away from the trio until they are nothing but infants, crying for food, changing, and comfort.
I wish companies would ship large amounts of screws/fasteners in boxes that wont split open when moved.
"You can build a perfect machine out of imperfect parts."
-Urza
He's an old-fashioned Amish cyborg with no name. She's a virginal nymphomaniac fairy princess married to the Mob. Together, they fight crime!
The Blizzcon Class Discussion:
Crowd: "Our qq's will blot out the sun"
Warlocks: "Then we will pewpew in the shade"
Posts: 292
Threads: 4
Joined: Feb 2003
Urza-DSF,May 2 2005, 12: Wrote:I wish companies would ship large amounts of screws/fasteners in boxes that wont split open when moved.
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Granted,
Industrial fasteners are now shipped in a manner similar to popcorn. Place the package into a device of proprietary technology and hit the button. After two minutes (or when popping ceases) open the door and unscrew/pry each piece from the interior walls of the machine. Just be careful to keep up with the regular maintenance of the machine, and for Pete's sake make sure to store those packages in a temperature controlled area. Oh, and making sure the company is paid up on teir workman's comp policy wouldn't be a bad idea either.
I wish that I could rediscover the enjoyment that used to greet me in my current job.
ah bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bah-bob
dyah ah dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dth
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Posts: 475
Threads: 16
Joined: Jan 2004
Granted. You remember how much fun your job was as you trudge hopelessly back to your car after being presented with a pink slip.
I wish I had a full scholarship to the college of my choice, for the program of my choice, including room, board, and books, for the duration of my college career.
Posts: 6,430
Threads: 204
Joined: Feb 2003
05-02-2005, 02:52 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-02-2005, 02:53 PM by Occhidiangela.)
Lady Vashj,May 2 2005, 07:07 AM Wrote:I wish I had a full scholarship to the college of my choice, for the program of my choice, including room, board, and books, for the duration of my college career.
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Granted, however, the college hires a staff composed exclusively of Nepalese professors in your program, each of whom instructs in his native dialect.
I wish that everyone who ever took out a government education loan, and is delinquent, would pay it all back. (Gotta make some progress on the deficit . . .)
Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Posts: 475
Threads: 16
Joined: Jan 2004
05-02-2005, 06:12 PM
(This post was last modified: 05-02-2005, 06:19 PM by Lady Vashj.)
Granted. However, the vast majority of them could not afford to pay off the government education loans and were forced to file for bankruptcy. Thanks to you, we have hundreds of thousands of people with master's degrees living out of cardboard boxes. AND, just as a bonus, the deficit goes up because the government is now forced to give these people welfare checks until they get jobs, which becomes less likely since a whole bunch of desperate people with advanced degrees just hit the job market at the same time. Because of that, it becomes much harder for people with less education to find paid employment at such desirable places as McDonald's. Employers find it cheaper to hire new workers at starting wages, so people are laid off from jobs they've had for years. Overall, the number of taxpayers has dropped significantly, and the number of people living off the government's kindness has increased by a similar amount. Think what that does to the deficit. How does that make you feel?
I wish I was less lethargic.
Posts: 1,034
Threads: 42
Joined: May 2004
Lady Vashj,May 2 2005, 12:12 PM Wrote:I wish I was less lethargic.
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Granted. You become extremely hyper, than crash after a few minutes and go to sleep.
I wish I could change genders at will.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)
The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)
Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Posts: 391
Threads: 26
Joined: Feb 2003
05-03-2005, 08:15 AM
(This post was last modified: 05-03-2005, 08:16 AM by Urza-DSF.)
Minionman,May 2 2005, 08:26 PM Wrote:Granted. You become extremely hyper, than crash after a few minutes and go to sleep.
I wish I could change genders at will.
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Granted! You may now change from between being a Man to being a very masculine female and back again.
I wish more stores and resteraunts sold and/or served Jones Soda.
"You can build a perfect machine out of imperfect parts."
-Urza
He's an old-fashioned Amish cyborg with no name. She's a virginal nymphomaniac fairy princess married to the Mob. Together, they fight crime!
The Blizzcon Class Discussion:
Crowd: "Our qq's will blot out the sun"
Warlocks: "Then we will pewpew in the shade"
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