The Corrupted Wish Game
#61
Doc,Apr 25 2005, 02:53 PM Wrote:I wish all these refried black beans and tortilla chips I have been eating wouldn't cause me to explode. Mmm guacamole and sour cream...
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I thought the rules in the opening post included an admonishment to avoid the descent into scatalogia.

But to grant your wish, all of the beans and chips have been transformed into Metamucil. Your bowels are no longer in an uproar, but you have the horrid aftertaste of Metamucil in stuck your mouth, and have nothing to drink but water.

I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener.

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
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#62
Occhidiangela,Apr 25 2005, 04:10 PM Wrote:I wish I was an Oscar Mayer Wiener.
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Your wish is granted and you find your self wedged between Sara Lee's buns.

I wish I could stop laughing :lol:
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
Reply
#63
Doc,Apr 25 2005, 01:20 PM Wrote:Your wish is granted and you find your self wedged between Sara Lee's buns.

I wish I could stop laughing :lol:
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You could, but you don't. Next please.

I wish I had thought up cool threads like these that create a frenzy of activity at the Lounge.
The Bill of No Rights
The United States has become a place where entertainers and professional athletes are mistaken for people of importance. Robert A. Heinlein
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#64
jahcs,Apr 25 2005, 04:23 PM Wrote:I wish I had thought up cool threads like these that create a frenzy of activity at the Lounge.
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Dr Bunson Honeydew is summoned from Muppet Labs to invent something that would allow you to come up with a new thread idea. MEEP!
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
Reply
#65
jahcs,Apr 25 2005, 03:23 PM Wrote:You could, but you don't.  Next please.

I wish I had thought up cool threads like these that create a frenzy of activity at the Lounge.
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You think up such a thread. You get extremely involved in the thread, say a few stupid things, and are banned.

I wish I had better people skills.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)

The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)

Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
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#66
Minionman,Apr 25 2005, 03:26 PM Wrote:You think up such a thread.  You get extremely involved in the thread, say a few stupid things, and are banned.

I wish I had better people skills.
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Poof! You now had better people skills! Unfortunately you have good people skills in the language of Mari! Mari's love you! But, you are shunned by people who speak English.


I wish I wasn't a virgin.
I have my own signature. Yay.
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#67
Zafarium,Apr 25 2005, 07:40 PM Wrote:I wish I wasn't a virgin.
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Granted. Unfortunately, you chose poorly and...

No. This is just too easy, and too crude, rude, and socially unacceptable.

I wish I hadn't started this response.
Darian Redwin - just some dude now
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#68
Darian,Apr 25 2005, 06:50 PM Wrote:Granted.  Unfortunately, you chose poorly and...

No.  This is just too easy, and too crude, rude, and socially unacceptable.

I wish I hadn't started this response.
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You had not started that response, it was your evil twin who snuck in to post on the Lounge while you were at the fridge getting a tall cool one. You return to find that your evil twin has now changed the password on your WoW account.

I wish the moon were in fact made of green cheese.

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Reply
#69
Darian,Apr 25 2005, 07:50 PM Wrote:Granted.  Unfortunately, you chose poorly and...

No.  This is just too easy, and too crude, rude, and socially unacceptable.

I wish I hadn't started this response.
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Granted. Someone else gave the answer you started, and everyone loved it. Said person was showered with praise, money and women, leaving you bitter, lonely and poor.

I wish Goodenow and Bettman were locked in a room together until they reach an agreement that benefits the fans over the players or owners.

gekko
"Life is sacred and you are not its steward. You have stewardship over it but you don't own it. You're making a choice to go through this, it's not just happening to you. You're inviting it, and in some ways delighting in it. It's not accidental or coincidental. You're choosing it. You have to realize you've made choices."
-Michael Ventura, "Letters@3AM"
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#70
gekko,Apr 25 2005, 06:55 PM Wrote:Granted.  Someone else gave the answer you started, and everyone loved it.  Said person was showered with praise, money and women, leaving you bitter, lonely and poor.
I wish Goodenow and Bettman were locked in a room together until they reach an agreement that benefits the fans over the players or owners.
gekko
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Wish granted, and they choose Field Hockey for next year's NHL season.

I wish I could be protected from all the good Canadians who will want my blood for even suggesting the above!

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Reply
#71
Occhidiangela,Apr 25 2005, 07:55 PM Wrote:I wish the moon were in fact made of green cheese.
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The Moon is turned to green cheese. STINKY green cheese. It has the delicate boquet of rotten feet and ass. Life on earth suffers. Romance stops, impossible under the choking fumes. Everybody forgets what sex is like and becomes Born Again Virgins. World peace happens as a side effect.

I wish I had more chai.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
Reply
#72
Occhidiangela,Apr 25 2005, 08:04 PM Wrote:I wish I could be protected from all the good Canadians who will want my blood for even suggesting the above!
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You are ushered off, alone, to the Green Cheese Moon and left. But you are safe.

Mmm Iced Chai would be delicious right about now.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
Reply
#73
Doc,Apr 25 2005, 07:05 PM Wrote:I wish I had more chai.
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You have more chai, much mor chai. It is brewed and served up with racoon pancreas fritters for tea, which induces a bad case of insomnia.

I wish I drank less coffee.

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Reply
#74
Doc,Apr 25 2005, 07:07 PM Wrote:You are ushered off, alone, to the Green Cheese Moon and left. But you are safe.

Mmm Iced Chai would be delicious right about now.
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*sitting on the green cheese moon that does not, alas, have breathable air*

I wish I could brea-- aaaaaaaaaaackkkkkkk!
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Reply
#75
Occhidiangela,Apr 26 2005, 01:09 AM Wrote:I wish I drank less coffee.
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Granted. You discover the cure for coffee. Unfortunately, it's crack.

I wish I didn't have so much crack.
UPDATE: Spamblaster.
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#76
Count Duckula,Apr 25 2005, 08:51 PM Wrote:Granted. You discover the cure for coffee. Unfortunately, it's crack.

I wish I didn't have so much crack.
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**Tosses "Buns of Steel" and "Buns of Bronze" into the VCR.**

Corrupted wishes indeed.

My chai was delicious... Now I wish I could sleep.
All alone, or in twos,
The ones who really love you
Walk up and down outside the wall.
Some hand in hand
And some gathered together in bands.
The bleeding hearts and artists
Make their stand.

And when they've given you their all
Some stagger and fall, after all it's not easy
Banging your heart against some mad buggers wall.

"Isn't this where...."
Reply
#77
Occhidiangela,Apr 25 2005, 12:21 PM Wrote:I wish it was cooler here today.
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Granted. Mace Windu swaggers in the front door, fighting off the entire horde of the droid army with his cool purple lightsabre. The army destroys your house as Mace Windu saves your life with a spectacular and cool kamikaze attack. All that remains in place of your house is a smoldering ruin, yourself, and Jar Jar Binks. :)

I wish I had more time to play video games.
-TheDragoon
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#78
TheDragoon,Apr 25 2005, 08:05 PM Wrote:I wish I had more time to play video games.
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You yuse the time to play video games. You spend so much time playing that you wish you wish to never see a video game again. Your eyes also get a permanent blear, your hands become a case study of repetetive stress syndrome, you never get any sleep, and your legs become stuck in a sitting position. Whenever you see a video or computer game, you go crazy and try to beat it apart with your bare hands.

I wish I had a million dollars.
I may be dead, but I'm not old (source: see lavcat)

The gloves come off, I'm playing hardball. It's fourth and 15 and you're looking at a full-court press. (Frank Drebin in The Naked Gun)

Some people in forums do the next best thing to listening to themselves talk, writing and reading what they write (source, my brother)
Reply
#79
Minionman,Apr 25 2005, 08:57 PM Wrote:I wish I had a million dollars.
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Granted! You have a million dollars, cash, in your hand. In the other hand is a bill for $999,900.00, due the day after tomorrow. Overnight mail costs $9.95.

I wish I had a nickel for every wish that never came true.

Occhi
Cry 'Havoc' and let slip the Men 'O War!
In War, the outcome is never final. --Carl von Clausewitz--
Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum
John 11:35 - consider why.
In Memory of Pete
Reply
#80
Occhidiangela,Apr 25 2005, 11:02 PM Wrote:I wish I had a nickel for every wish that never came true.

Done! You have a Dairy Queen wooden nickel for every wish that never came true. You use these wooden nickels at every opportunity, eventually driving Dairy Queen out of business. Worse yet, the creation of these wooden nickels necessitated destroying all of the world's trees. The atmosphere's oxygen supply eventually diminishes and all life dies out.

I wish I knew what to wish for.

-Lemmy
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